


What's in a Name?

by Applepie



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist
Genre: Fullmetal moniker, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-12-28
Updated: 2010-12-28
Packaged: 2017-12-11 13:44:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 426
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/799390
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Applepie/pseuds/Applepie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He'd always thought that the name "Fullmetal Alchemist" didn't suit Edward Elric. I mean, the boy wasn't even fully metal to begin with.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What's in a Name?

He'd always thought that the name "Fullmetal Alchemist" didn't suit Edward Elric. Honestly, in what way was that boy even "fullmetal"? Now, if that suit-of-armor of a brother Edward dragged around had the title "Fullmetal Alchemist" he could understand.

That Alphonse  _was_  fully made of metal unlike that older brother of his. There was a reason why people continuously mistook the two, assuming that walking box of metal the famed alchemist, and the short little runt the assistant. Who could blame them?

Sure the elder Elric brother had metal prosthetic limbs, but that didn't make him  _full_ y metal, did it? No.

It was only logical Edward's title should be change to avoid further misunderstandings. Why couldn't he be known something like the "Halfmetal Alchemist"? It made a lot more sense. No one would mistake Alphonse for his brother anymore after that little adjustment. Unless, of course, someone decided that perhaps the little (or should I say huge) Elric was actually in fact made of half metal and half - I don't know - plastic, therefore making the title "Halfmetal Alchemist" valid once again. But then again, what were the chances?

In fact, while he was at it, why not change the title even more?

Frankly, looking at Edward, one would notice he actually wasn't even  _half_  metal to begin with - only an arm and a leg of his could hold that claim. So what would that make Edward? Calling him a "Third-metal Alchemist" didn't have the same ring to it.

Besides, no one could even be certain if an arm and a leg counted as a third of the body. Maybe a "Fourth-metal Alchemist"? A "Two Sevenths-metal Alchemist"?

Of course, if he was attempting to be technical like this, there was always a better way to go about it. Instead of guessing how many parts of a fraction Edward's limbs consisted of, wouldn't it be better to just call him an "Arm-and-Leg-metal Alchemist"? Quite frankly, it was  _perfect_ for him. No longer would Edward Elric fume about being mistaken for his brother. He would be glad for that, no?

In fact, there was no time like the present - he could immediately start a petition to replace Edward's moniker to the "Arm-and-Leg-metal Alchemist"! Wouldn't that shrimp of a punk be pleased at his thoughtful consideration? It was all just for him, after all.

It was going to be  _glorious_.

He could imagine it already ...  _"I now present to you the one, the only, Edward Elric, the 'Arm-and-Leg-metal Alchemist'!_ " It only made sense. Surely the higher ups would agree.


End file.
